Keepin’ it Real

Warning: I may have dropped the F Bomb in this post…more than once!

In a recent conversation with a friend who was experiencing some challenges, they expressed that their life sometimes felt like a total fuck up.

I assured them they had not won the prize on that one!

However it did get me to thinking.

We live in a world, where on a daily basis, we are bombarded with images of people seemingly living richer, fuller and more adventurous lives.

People working in more exciting jobs & wearing more fashionable clothing.

People who travel the globe with what appears to be an endless supply of income.

People who are married to the perfect partner & have miraculously created the perfect family who all live in a perfect home.

People living a life we can only dream of.

But are they really?

I believe a more accurate statement might be, we are inundated with images depicting people living perfect lives.

For aren’t we/they just all showing the best sides of our life?

If any one of us stepped in to someone else’s life, I suspect it wouldn’t be long before we recognised that they too, live in an imperfect world.

One where they might not feel valued. One where they experience disappointment.  One where they struggle with anxiety & fear.  One where they may feel the weight of loneliness & sadness.

And yet, so many of us are reluctant to share these sides of ourselves.  We hold our not so perfect or vulnerable parts in a safe place, in many cases locked deep inside, for fear that in sharing them, we may be exposed for all to see, that somehow we just don’t quite measure up.

With depression & suicide rates on the rise, it would stand to reason that we could all benefit from a little less perfect in our lives.

After a lengthy conversation with my friend, commiserating on all things not so perfect, aka fucked up, they thanked me for keeping it real.

It doesn’t take a whole lot to assure someone they are not alone, to let them know that most of us in fact, on any given day, can hold the fucked up trophy. 🏆

Sharing our not so perfect sides of ourselves can be equally as important as sharing our successes.

I encourage you to keep it real!

Hugs,

L💕

 

 

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53 Responses to Keepin’ it Real

  1. Super post, Lynn.
    I sometimes think some folks spend too much time evaluating their life in the context of comparing to others. Everyone has problems and blessings. Maybe a focus on the latter will yield more benefit. Thanks for the post.

  2. Such an important message especially at a time when we’re bombarded with so many social media images and messages that don’t reflect reality. It does also help to try and recognize simple, good things in life – clearly for your friend one of those is you.

    • Lynn says:

      Carol, you hit the nail on the head about reality! Despite our best efforts, there are days when no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to see the glass half full. It is in the moments we may just need a friend to lift our spirits. Thanks for visiting!

  3. This is a really good point. I think that with instagram this has become quite a real issue, as it is easy to look at those little boxes of perfect lives, perfect vacations etc and feel we don’t measure up. But yeah the reality is we all have good and bad days, challenges and sad times. I think it is also why you see the “haters” surface on large instagram accounts which bring out the jealousy in others. Lets all support each other and yes put perfection aside, there is no such thing in reality.

    Peta

    • Lynn says:

      Peta, your wise words resonate deeply. Support is exactly what my friend needed that day, someone to just assure them that no matter how perfect everyone else’s life appeared, they were not alone in feeling like their world was a mess some days. Thank you so much for visiting & sharing your insightful words. Hope you & Ben are well!😘

  4. I had a whole case of those trophies. Then my children came along and broke them all. We can’t have nice things.

  5. At many times in my past I found myself using the “success” barometer based on what I viewed in other people in my life. What an error in judging me based on my perceptions on the “grass on the other side of the street.” Until the day that I changed how I measure “success” I had the attitude that you talk about: “poor me without the new car, nice clothes, bigger house, great vacation…..” Change of course is gradual, but eventually I graded my “success” on what I had overcome in my life and not what I had achieved.
    Nice post and thanks

    • Lynn says:

      I think so many of us are guilty is using that succes barometer as a way of measuring our own lives. It is only natural that we try to show the best sides of ourselves but the reality is that every one of us deals with struggles & challenges, some days more so than others. It’s a conversation we need to have more often.

      Sounds like you are doing a great job of finding a good life balance! Thank you so much for taking the time to read & comment. Your input is truly appreciated!

  6. Karen mcboyle says:

    Wonderful post. Social media is great if taken properly but for anyone with mental health issues or lack of self esteem/ confidence it can be devastating. We can never ‘ become’ anyone else’s life and trying takes away the happiness in our own. I use the media platforms to keep in touch with friends lives and for advocacy work. Xo k

    • Lynn says:

      Very wise words Karen. I think many people have a love/hate kind of feeling with social media. Keeping up with the Jone’s ( showing my age here) has always been an issue but with the birth of social media, it has definitely increased anxieties for so many. Thank you for your support!

  7. Al says:

    Neat post, Lynn. New mantra. Be a real person. Embrace the fuck-up!

  8. Joanne Sisco says:

    Amen! Well said, Lynn!

  9. Ingrid says:

    Great post, Lynn and well said. I think social media can be so misleading. I like to tell my daughter, “Life is a rollercoaster and no one gets a smooth ride” (not that she listens 😆)

    • Lynn says:

      Ingrid, I agree, I think social media has definitely contributed to the feelings of somehow not measuring up In many regards. What we don’t often see is real life which absolutely includes all of the ups & downs we experience on a day to day basis. Sometimes we are winning, sometimes we are not. I think it’s a conversation that needs to happen more. And as for your daughter, I suspect she takes in more mom advice than you realize😉. Hope your are well my friend!

  10. Tammy says:

    Dearest Lynn, really real article, perfectly written and expressed!! 💞

  11. restlessjo says:

    Well, it’s funny you should say that! 🙂 🙂 Says me, Miss Sunny Side Up! For a few weeks now I’ve been wondering if and how I’d write the post that says ‘don’t be fooled, guys! I don’t tap dance on the washing line every day 😦 ‘ Most of them, it’s true! But adjusting to life here is not all roses, despite the smile. So, thanks, Lynn!

  12. Constantino says:

    Yet another down side of posting pictures in social media of our deceivingly glamorous lives: it incites feelings of jalousie and envy. So not only the receiver is deceived into thinking he is missing out on something, he will feel jealous and envious. A double wham. The other side of the coin is projecting onto the public the miseries of our existences. I am not a believer in broadcasting to the world our miseries, our misfortunes and the shadowy aspects of our lives. I just don’t think public needs to know. My closest friends, yes, perhaps. But not the general public.

    • Lynn says:

      Constantino, I must admit, I love looking at pictures & stories friends & family share on social media but I would also say that there is a difference between sharing & documenting every single moment of one’s life.

      Finding balance is key as is sharing that life isn’t always perfect for any of us.

      Thank you so much for adding your perspective! Much appreciated.

  13. Reblogged this on Musings and Wonderings and commented:
    Excellent review of not being perfect

  14. Excellent post on not being perfect, which is all of us! Thanks.

  15. Dwight says:

    F’N Eh….great message! There is much beauty in our imperfections😊

  16. I remember, when I was a young girl, feeling like everyone’s life was perfect but mine. When I was feeling sorry for myself over something silly, my mother would tell me that everyone had challenges and to try not to compare my life with others. Now, with social media, it must be so much worse for younger people. Hopefully, as we have aged, we have gained a more realistic perspective. None of us live a perfect life… and that’s ok.

    • Lynn says:

      Janis, I agree, I think I may have crumbled as a young person if social media had been around.

      With age definitely comes perspective, although I still think it is easy to fall into the trap of somehow feeling so many others are living a much bigger & better life.

      Recognizing that we all have struggles and we all have successes is helpful in finding balance. Thank you so much for contributing!

  17. Ann Coleman says:

    I so agree! The friends I value the most aren’t the ones who are busy trying to impress me with their perfect lives, they are the ones who are willing to share their own moments of doubt and their own times of failure, because that is what I can relate to. And I realize that their vulnerability in sharing those moments with me is a true gift.

    • Lynn says:

      Ann, I couldn’t agree more. I have always been someone who is very open with people. I truly believe that in sharing our vulnerable sides, we develop a deeper bond as a result. It is a gift indeed, to know that we are not alone in sometimes feeling like life is not always as we thought it should be. Thank you for your visit today!

  18. Cheryl Marsh says:

    AMEN!! You are such a good therapist, this should be in every Dr/therapist office and advise EVERYWHERE!
    Tx again Lynn, we are so blessed to have you in our lives.
    Love, C xo
    Hi to Brian & family, hope you’re enjoying winter and esp. the Family Day weekend just past. Did you do lots of skiing?

    Sent from my iPad

    • Lynn says:

      You are so sweet Cheryl! With the darn ice storms we have had the past few weeks, it hasn’t allowed for very much skiing unfortunately. Hope to get a few more days in before the winter is over!

  19. This is validating to read. It’s one of the reasons why I finally got off Facebook; I got tired of looking all the “public relations” posts. At the same time, however, I’ve noticed that one does start to question oneself in later years. So if that’s the case, I don’t need any further reminders! 🙂 – Marty

    • Lynn says:

      Marty, I must admit, I have considered leaving Facebook as well a number of times & know many who have.

      Interesting the point you make about questioning ourselves in later years. There are many things I still hope to have the time & the physical ability to do but I actually have found as I have aged, I am much more comfortable in my own skin & not so concerned about what others think.

      I feel very blessed for so many things in my life. I sure hope to have some great years ahead but I am very content with where I am at if life should end tomorrow.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by for a visit & to comment. Keep on keeping on!

  20. Ally Bean says:

    I found you via Joanne and I’m glad that I did. Great thoughts here. I agree, keeping it real is my goal, but will admit that some people do not especially like that about me. Oh well, whatever, says I.

    • Lynn says:

      Ally, so glad you popped over to my little blog! I think I found yours through Joanne as well & have been a regular follower for some time!

      Whether people like that about you or not, I see DO YOU girl. Thanks so much for visiting!

  21. nrhatch says:

    I’ll ditto Ally’s comment . . . word for word.

  22. George says:

    Absolutely, Lynn, Many of these people who you read about that seem to have it all, have nothing close to what many of us are fortunate to have in our lives. All too often it’s not the “what” but “who” you have that matters most.

  23. Sue Slaght says:

    Lynn I am sorry I missed this when it was posted. Nothing gets me going more than seeing people depicting perfect lives on Instagram. One more flowing red dress in a pefect land and I shall have to poke my eye.I think there is a delicate balance between showing people the wonders of this world and also showign the challenges that go along with that. Bravo to you for being so real. You’ve definitely given me a lot to ponder and how as a social media presence grows, the responsibility that comes with it.

    • Lynn says:

      Sue, your description of the flowing red dress in a perfect land made me chuckle! Although we all lean on the side of wanting to share the best of ourselves & our lives, i think it is equally as important for us to talk about our challenges & our ups & downs. Thank you for your very kind words my friend! I truly appreciate them❤️

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