Today my eldest brother & I met to tie up any outstanding loose ends of my mom’s estate. In addition to closing out her estate account, I closed out a joint account she & I shared for years. She & my stepdad added me to the account years ago in order to facilitate paying bills for them when they went south for the winter.
Long after his death, I remained on the account with my Mom, in the event she needed me to do banking for her. In the latter years of her life, when her dementia set in & she needed someone to facilitate all things for her, I was so grateful she added me all those years ago when her state of mind was solid.
And so it seemed rather bittersweet today when I made the final transfer of funds from that joint account & asked it to be closed. The end of an era, completing the final business of a life. My Mom’s life.
My brother & I then ventured to share a coffee together, to get caught up and to reminisce a little about our parents, our families, and our lives. It was a much needed catch up.
When I returned to my car, Bill Wither’s Lean on Me started playing, one of my Dad’s very favourite songs. I have learned to pay attention to these little nudges. I would like to think he was gently reminding me how very precious family is and how important it is to remain connected to those we share a history with.
Although my Dad has been gone 25 years, my stepdad 23 years and my Mom now 1 1/2 years, today there was a finality felt in them no longer being present. I am so incredibly grateful for all that they taught me & the love they so willingly gave.
I heard you Dad, loud & clear!
I carry all of them with me always💕
Hugs,
L💙
Life After 50 
Closure is a good thing, Lynn. You’ll always have the memories.
They are forever in my heart John, well, at least as long as I have my memory!😂
😊
We’ll said Lynn 💕Every-time we tell one of their stories we keep them alive
You are so right my friend💕
Each step after our loved ones death is another closure. Finalizing the estate is certainly an important one. I am happy to read that you and ….”your eldest brother” were able to share some of your family memories together. Also great to see a picture of you both together! Love and Hugs!
So true Robin. It was a great visit & a reminder of how strong the connection of family is💕
I have always felt that the fact that my brothers and I remain close and in contact, would please my parents greatly. So many families break apart after the death of the parents – often due to money squabbles or just lack of deep connection. It’s a tribute to your folks that you and your brother are not only siblings but also friends.
Janis, you are so right, so many families have such challenges when settling estates. I am so thankful Mom’s was very straight forward & never once was there any kind of squabble about anything. Like you, I think our parents would be so pleased to see their children continuing to be there for one another. Thank you so much for you kind words. Truly appreciated 💕
Great post of where we are at this stage of our lives. I’m glad you had your brother with you during the process.
Me too Annie! Thank you so much for the visit & for taking the time to read & leave a comment.💕
Big hugs🤗
Thank you Dwight!💕
Got a lump in my throat, Lynn. Spent our last evening with James until Christmas yesterday and off to the airport very soon. God bless 🤗💗
I hope you & James had a wonderful visit together. Precious family time💕
Those wonderful memories remain with us forever
They sure do! Thank you so much for visiting.💕
A pleasure Lynn
Ah, yes, finalising the estate of a parent can be quite emotional. Good you had your brother with you. I rarely have any contact with my remaining brother, but we were never close – he married and moved away when I was just 14 so we never got to that stage where you finally stop squabbling with your siblings and become friends. I am glad that my own children stay in touch with each other, though often it’s my daughter who gives the prod!
Family dynamics are very interesting Jude. I don’t see my eldest brother a whole lot on a regular basis, mostly because our lives are just very different. Having said that, we do share a history together, our memories of our parents and our of course our childhood. It was lovely just sitting and reminiscing about those times & getting caught up on each others lives.💕
The end of an era and yet you are left with so many precious memories and life lessons. I too like to think your Dad was sending you a special message.
I have such wonderful memories to hold in my heart Sue. No family is perfect but the older I get, the more I appreciate the upbringing I had and the people who raised me. It’s funny, in regards to the song coming on when I started up my vehicle, I never used to pay attention to those little things that happen but nowadays I am way more aware! As always, thank you for your support & your kind words my friend. Always love to hear your insight💕
I remember being in your situation. So glad that the estate was closed, but feeling bittersweet too. The subtle impact of the finality is strange. Take care of yourself, but know that you did good.
Thanks Ally, both for your support & your visit! 💕
It’s always nice when you hear their messages.
It can happen at the most random times but I have learned to pay attention to those little messages!
I’m glad you’re paying attention to those “nudges.” They can provide the closure you need, and be a reminder that in a sense, your parents will always be with you!
It’s funny Ann, I have definitely learned to pay more attention to those little nudges as I have gotten older. I feel my loved ones a lot these days, perhaps because of the state of the world or perhaps because I am just open to hearing them! Regardless, I do feel like they are with me in spirit always. Thank you so much for your visit.💕
Hugs to you! Having lost two family members in the last week, this is especially poignant.
Oh Linda, I am so very sorry for your loss. Sounds like you have had a very rough week. Sending you hugs & healing thoughts.💕
It sounds like you still feel and hear them at times and that’s nice. We saved some blankets Baba made years ago, baby blankets. She would be happy to see them going to her great granddaughter for her first baby, my first grand child. I looked at Baba’s picture on my fridge and I could her say chum chum (kiss kiss) and laugh.
I love that you have passed your Baba’s blankets down from generation to generation. I have no doubt she would be incredibly pleased that they are still be used & loved💕
♥ hugs
We are in the midst of getting ready to sell my mom’s house. She passed away last September. I have one sister and one brother and we have worked together throughout this process. I lost an older brother years ago. Unless you have gone through it, it is hard to explain to someone else. There is so much to be done and we do all do need closure. I feel as you do that our beloveds are with us in spirit. My prayers are with you at this time. It is a blessing to have those little ‘nudges’!
Linda, I feel your pain. Thankfully we had no home to contend with when it came to my mom’s estate but my husband & his brother went through a similar experience with their parents home. It took them almost a year to go through everything before they were able to prepare if for sale. A very long process and of course, an emotional one as well. Sending you love & support as you & your brother get through the coming days.💕
Thank you so very much! It is an emotional experience, going through a beloved’s things. There are also little joys along the way. You find a long-forgotten recipe that you loved as a child, or a card or letter from decades ago. (It has taken us the better part of a year as well.)