I Miss My Life

I consider myself to be a positive person, a glass half full kind of gal. I make every attempt to try to look at things from a positive perspective, to not spend too much energy immersed in a negative mindset.

I have so much to be grateful for.

But I must admit, I am struggling with positivity these days, and I know I am not alone in feeling that way.

I miss my life. The one I have spent years building and fostering.

Although I certainly appreciate and in fact crave, a little bit of alone time for myself, I am a social bird by nature.

I love nothing more than to get together with friends & family, to share a meal, to celebrate a milestone or simply bask in the joy of being together.

I love to travel, to visit destinations both near & far, to learn & expand my knowledge of customs & culture.

I love to go to concerts & to live theatre, to feel the energy a performance of such magnitude gifts us.

I love to make spur of the moment decisions, whether it’s to head to a friends cottage for the weekend or randomly make last minute plans to meet for dinner.

I am a big time hugger.

I have dug down deep to remain positive throughout the craziness of this past year. I try to find gratitude for everything that is right in my life. But in more recent days, it feels really hard.

There are some parts of the world where life seems to have resumed to a more natural flow but here, in most parts of Canada, we are still struggling. Now in the midst of our 3rd wave and I can’t even tell you how many days of lockdown, the positivity well is feeling a bit dry.

I fear the toll all of this is taking on us, not only personally, but as a society.

Fear not, for I shall rally in positivity once again. I think I just needed to write this all down, to get it off my chest & to share, for if you are feeling like I am, I want you to know, you are not alone in your sadness and your grief. I am standing right there beside you.

I dream of the day when we can return to the ease of everyday life that we all cherish so much.

Until then, allow me to share a smile, a silly little picture that made me laugh out loud when it came across my Facebook feed this past week after we received an unexpected snowfall. As if lockdown isn’t bad enough! I suspect there are many of us feeling the sentiment of this little bird!

Take good care of yourselves my dear friends & family.



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53 Responses to I Miss My Life

  1. Pam says:

    I am so sorry you are locked down again! I hope the vaccine makes its way to you and your community soon. Hang in there – better times are coming!

    • Lynn says:

      Thanks Pam, it seems to be a never ending situation. Part of the challenge we have is we do not manufacture the vaccine so we have been reliant on sourcing it from other countries. This “manufacturing “ dilemma dates back to numerous governments, not just the current one in power. I have received my first dose, as have many Canadians, however because of the shortage of vaccines, the decision was made to stretch out the time period between 1st & 2nd doses. Fingers crossed they are still effective!🤔

  2. I think we all miss our life, Lynn. Sooner or later, we will all get into a resume mode. For now, we have to be content with the fact that we can breathe freely and are not one of those who will never get their life back. (see what I did there) Here have a margarita. 😁

  3. Ally Bean says:

    I’m sorry you’re feeling bad about all of this. You’re not alone. I miss some parts of my pre-pandemic life, like going out to dinner with friends just because. No special occasion. I also miss the micro-conversations with strangers while shopping or going for a walk in the park. I know some people here are already back to normal, but not us. Still waiting for our second jabs.

    • Lynn says:

      Thank Ally💕. I so miss the spontaneity of life too. I too, am waiting for my 2nd jab but there are still many who are waiting on their first.🥴. Hoping we catch up soon!

  4. Carolyn MacDonald says:

    Hi Lynn, We are feeling the pain so deeply! Enough is enough! We thought that once we received at least one dose of vaccine, life would be easier… But no! We live in hopes that we only have to hang in for a matter of weeks and not months. take good acre and continue to stay safe!

    • Lynn says:

      Carolyn, I cannot fathom how frustrated you must be feeling. At least we have been able to maintain some sense of contact/support with our kids & I am still just feeling so completely done. I look so forward to be able to connect with you both when all of this passes.🤗

  5. Sue Slaght says:

    Lynn I agree that this third time around is very discouraging. I too am typically the essence of positivity. I expected by this point things would’ve so much better and the third wave a small bump on the chart. Like you I will come back with gusto.
    Meanwhile I think it is all right to grieve as long as we don’t get sucked into the vortex of despair. Sending hugs my friend. I miss the real ones too.

    • Lynn says:

      Sue, I feel like this 3rd wave has really broken the spirit of so many people. It is just so frustrating. Most days I can muster a positive vibe but this week has been particularly tough. Sending those hugs right back at you my friend & the hopes that in the near future they will actually be for real!🤗💕

  6. tinaor says:

    Hang on in there. It’s been a long haul here in the UK and at times I have been so frustrated with the rules. Lockdown 3 has definitely been the hardest for me, whilst speaking to a friend today she said Lockdown 1 was her hardest. It hits us all differently.

    • Lynn says:

      It really does Tinaor. First & second go round we’re tough but this one seems to be kicking my butt. Thank you so much for visiting 💕

  7. Chris says:

    Thank you for artfully putting into words what many of us are feeling 💕

  8. The third wave lockdown/shutdown in Ontario sucks! I’ve managed quite well for 14 months but on day 405, like you, I’m running low on positivity. Hopefully this will be the last set of restrictions.

    • Lynn says:

      Oh Jeanette, does it ever! Just when I feel like perhaps there is some hope, it seems our numbers surge & we are back in lockdown! Fingers crossed this is the last time🤗

  9. Karen Mcboyle says:

    I was just talking to someone about being so tired of this. I just want to meet people spontaneously. Have a meal out with friends and hug my grandkids. Not wanting a busy social life but a few contacts Xo

  10. Betty says:

    That was the perfect picture!

  11. You’ve captured what many of us feel and have felt. As I am now double-dosed, let me assure you that it will get better. My husband and I aren’t comfortable getting completely back to normal yet, we have gotten together a few times with other double dosers. Hang in there!

    • Lynn says:

      Oh Janis, you give me hope! I was scheduled to have had my 2nd vaccination but then our government made the decision to extend the time period between doses in order to get more shots in more arms. While I understand the logic, I hope they made the right decision 🤔

  12. Glen MacDonald says:

    I understand how you feel Lynn and agree. When those feelings really weigh me down however (like, virtually every “Groundhog Day” morning!) I consider how it must have been for my parents and grandparents during the war when – for five or six years running – they wondered if they’d ever see many of their loved ones again. Helps bring me back down to ground. That and the vaccines, of course. ❤

    • Lynn says:

      You bring up such a valuable point Glen. This all pales in comparison to what those before us dealt with during war times. I am ever hopeful for life to resume to more normal times, which includes spending time with you my friend.💕

  13. Heyjude says:

    The birdie made me laugh! Oh, yes. We are all so over this, and yet the OH and I are still very reluctant to mix in a crowd and although tentatively going further on a day out we haven’t yet risked meeting up with anyone, including family – we wait for our second jabs and when we can meet indoors – hopefully after 17 May. I have a new 8 month grandson who we haven’t yet seen, and goodness knows when, or even if, I’ll get to see my Aussie family again. But we are thankful that we are alive and have not been ill and have not lost anyone close to us. I’m a bit of a recluse anyway so staying at home doesn’t bother me, but I understand how difficult it must be for all the social butterflies out there. Stay well and be kind. These days will pass. 🧡💛💚💙💜

    • Lynn says:

      Glad you enjoyed the bird Jude, he seemed to sum up my feelings perfectly this week😂.

      I sense many of us may feel a wee bit tentative when things open back up.

      It must be heartbreaking to not have been able to meet your grandson. I am very grateful that our children/grandchildren have been a part of our very small network when we are able. Like you, we are so fortunate to have remained healthy, along with our family & friends. I have known a few people who have had Covid but thankfully they have recovered💕. I know we’ll get there eventually, it just feels like we, here in Canada, take a few steps forward & then multiple steps back. Really hoping this is our last lockdown!🤗

  14. Martha says:

    I love the bird lol! I’m sorry you are feeling down. I’ve been kind of the opposite, finding out that I’m even more of an introvert and more of a homebody than I thought I was. Other than being able to finally have my own grown children inside and be able to have hugs from them again, I kind of dread all the other back to normal – but I can certainly feel for those of you who are suffering. For you I hope things will be looking better soon and I hope it warms up again there soon too.

    • Lynn says:

      Isn’t he hilarious Martha?

      For the most part, I have managed to stay relatively positive through all of this but this last lockdown has been a struggle.

      Thankfully, we have been a part of the kids bubble when we can, I think I would have lost my mind otherwise.

      Warmer temps must be on the horizon, meaning lots of bike rides! Be well my friend & thanks for visiting.💕

  15. Jonathan says:

    I think I was kind of built to get through the pandemic – I do appreciate that some need social interaction a lot more than others though. It HAS been hard going at times. There’s a distinct level of stir-craziness fostering in most households, I think.

    • Lynn says:

      Jonathan, thank you for sharing. I have spoken to a number of people who feel not much has changed for them as they feel quite content in their won space. For me, the struggle has been the inability to make plans, the freedom to move about and my workplace being closed on top of everything else. I so appreciate your visit today!💕

  16. restlessjo says:

    Hello, sweetheart! I missed this until I spotted you on Facebook earlier. I was at my neighbour’s watching Rafa. In reality we shouldn’t have mixed households when we did but how could we leave her to cope alone, and when she took ill there was never any doubt that we’d help. Despite all the rumour and speculation Covid has not run rife in the Algarve, but many lives have been ruined by this illness. Me and Mike get our first vaccination next Wednesday. Portugal is desperate to welcome tourists again and is making every effort to make that possible. I know that increases the risk but we can’t all go on living in boxes forever. I’m a hugger too, Lynn. 🙂 🙂

    • Lynn says:

      Jo, we too, have made some choices with respect to Covid. Throughout most of this past year, we have helped to offset daycare for our son & daughter-in-law, a decision we revisit & talk about often to ensure we are still comfortable with each other. Brian & I have both received our first vaccination, our 2nd is forthcoming in June we hope. Sadly, our ICU units here in our hospitals are all but maxed out which is why we are once again, back in lockdown. Fingers crossed this is the last one!💕

  17. Ann Coleman says:

    I think it’s only normal to feel down at this point! And I’m glad people are finally admitting that these lock downs are very hard on most of us…when this first started, it was almost considered a sign of weakness to admit that lock downs could be difficult. I do think that we are just now beginning to realize how damaging this past year has been to us psychologically. You know, I was reading a book the other day that was set in the 17th century, and it referred to quarantines that were put into effect when a plague hit. And I thought, “Gee whiz, after four hundred years and so many scientific advances, we haven’t figured out a better response to a plague?” Sad, but true. I hope you are able to get your second shot soon!

    • Lynn says:

      Ann, for the better part of this past year, I have managed to keep plodding along & doing what needed to be done, all the while trying to maintain a positive attitude that this will pass in time & we will figure it all out. Admittedly, this last go round of lockdown here in Ontario has left many of us incredibly frustrated & angry. Add to that, that as a country, we are way behind in accessing vaccines and it just honestly wears you down.

      It’s so interesting that you read a book experiencing a quarantine & here we are in modern days, experiencing the same thing! Who could have imagined? Thanks for visiting Ann, I always enjoy your input!🤗

  18. Jo says:

    This lockdown has been really hard. Hugs to you Lynn. We can get through this..😊

  19. Al says:

    Next to not hugging, the thing I miss most is seeing people’s faces. So much of what we communicate is done with facial expressions. Not to mention, as someone who is hearing impaired, it is impossible to use lip reading when talking with people. I’d rather not start a conversation at all than try to muddle through one. It’s too frustrating.

    Glad you were able to vent, Lynn. It will be over soon!

    • Lynn says:

      Al, funny you should bring up the issue around people being masked & our hearing. I have talked to a number of people, myself included, who really didn’t realize how much they rely upon visually seeing a person’s face when they are “listening” to what is being said. I can certainly understand your frustration!

      Thanks for always popping by, your company is truly appreciated.🤗

  20. Thank you for being so honest about the fatigue you are feeling with these lockdowns- you helped put into words what so many of us feel. My moods too seem to go through cycles and this third wave is tough. It helps when the sun shines and it’s possible to believe that the comforts we all took for granted will come again one day.

    • Lynn says:

      Thank you, for sharing your struggles as well. You are so right about the sun. When it is shining, our moods definitely lift a wee bit & hope feels a little more doable. Thank you so much for reading & taking the time to comment 🤗

  21. Joanne Sisco says:

    I hear you, Lynn.

    Except for that brief shining moment in March, we’ve been in lockdown since the last week of November. I was holding my own, keeping busy, and feeling rather proud of myself for how well I was managing … until early this month. Now I just feel like a deflated balloon with a deep sense of resignation. I too could use a big dose of ‘happy’.

    Without question, we will look back on this and remember!

    • Lynn says:

      Joanne, I can’t imagine having been in complete lockdown for that length of time. My youngest brother, who lives in Montreal, has had a similar experience. He lives alone & it has literally crushed his soul.

      Thankfully out here, we have had the occasional reprieve from lockdown, still lots of restrictions, but at least the ability to move about a wee bit. I am counting the minutes until May 20th & trying to remain optimistic that with more vaccines in arms, the numbers will improve.

      Hang in there my friend. Miss you!💕

  22. Robin Burns says:

    Lynn, I miss My Life without You! As always your words are meaningful, relevant and poignant. We do have so much to grateful for. When I think of what our ancestors have been through with Wars, Depression, Stock Market fails and Pandemics too I know that this is our time to Stay Safe, think of others are we stay home, mask up and Vaccinate! I look forward to times ahead when we can Hug, Celebrate, Grieve and Be Together! Stay Safe my Dear Friend and give yourself and your Hubby a Hug from me.

    • Lynn says:

      I miss you to my beautiful friend💕. I look so forward to the day when we can hang out together, share a few glasses of wine just not worry about anything else! Sending you & your family big hugs right back.🤗

  23. Linda Raha says:

    I so understand how you are feeling! After we received our vaccines and were able to let our guard down a bit, I felt as if a veil was lifted. Not everyone has the vaccine yet, and not everyone wants it. The world is not back to normal, but it is infinitely better. Around the world, it will get better day by day, but it has taken so much from all of us. Like you, I am a ‘people person’. Being separated from friends and family is one of the hardest things I have ever been through. (We kept trying to have parties outdoors, but it was still stressful staying apart and wearing masks.) Praying that things in your corner of the world get better very soon…

    • Lynn says:

      Linda, so happy to hear things are improving in your area. We have definitely been playing catch up here in Canada in regards to vaccines. This past year has been so trying for so many in countless ways, all of us trying to support each other in the safest & best way possible. I am ever hoped that better days are ahead with a renewed appreciation of family & friends.💕. Thank you so much for visiting today!

  24. Mrs. N says:

    Hi Lynn,

    I found your blog while scrolling thru the reader. I felt like this today. My husband and I live in rural Japan and our kids and grandkids live in Saipan and the USA. We have not been able to see any of them for almost 2 years. Japan has been very slow with everything….

    Just today I said- I want my life back. I want my husband to be another work again, I want to see my family. I want to enjoy life because the years are slipping quickly away…so I understand. That’s what I wanted to tell you. ❤️

    • Lynn says:

      Mrs. N, thank you so much for visiting today & for taking the time to leave a comment. It has been so challenging for so many of around the globe in so many ways, all the while trying to remain optimistic that life will resume to a more normal pace at some point.

      We are very slowly making progress here in Canada as well. Really hoping by end of summer we may start to feel a sense of normal. Hope you your family soon have the opportunity to gather together once again.💕

      • Mrs. N says:

        Hi Lynn,

        Thank you for responding to my comment. When I read your post it just really touched me because here I am in rural Japan feeling what you are feeling in Canada. I guess if there’s anything good that has come out of this – it’s that boundaries have been erased. I feel much closer to my fellow “humans” no matter what country they live in. This has really touched us all.

        Japan has been very slow with vaccinations. My husband got his first today ( 65 snd older are first). I must wait till…? September? Not sure. But at least we are moving forward. I’m a new follower of yours. I’ll be around… ☮️

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