In the Blink of an Eye

In the blink of an eye, life can change.

Most days, we give little regard as to how instantaneously this shift can happen.  We go about our daily routines.  Going to work & making plans.  We grumble about traffic & taxes, politics & weather.  We worry about managing our schedules, getting to appointments, finding  time to clean the house & getting to the grocery store.

Balancing life & the stresses we deem to be important, the best way we can.

Until tragedy strikes.

Life comes to a complete & utter halt.  The simple act of breathing appears to be an unattainable feat.

I presume tragedy does this to you.  I presume it smacks you up the side of the head & sucks the wind right out of you.

Tragedy struck this week, for a family very near & dear to my heart.  This is not the first time for this family.  They have had more than their fair share of heartache & loss.

My heart absolutely breaks for them & I can’t begin to wrap my head around how you cope with such loss.

How does one learn how to breathe again when faced with such tragedy?  To awaken without feeling a sense of dread in facing the day in front in you?  To remember your child with a light heart instead of pleading as to why you could not trade places with them?

I have no answers to any of these questions.  I’m not sure anyone does.

I can only hope, that in knowing those of us who are still here, making some feeble attempt of surrounding them with our love, sharing in their utter heartache & grief, can in some small way, provide a small moment of comfort.  Even if just for second.  Until they learn how to breathe again.





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26 Responses to In the Blink of an Eye

  1. I am so sorry for your loss, and theirs. Words cannot express much during this time. But, being there, listening, understanding, crying with them and just being yourself will help them to remember to breathe once more.

  2. Sue Slaght says:

    Oh Lynn my heart breaks reading your post. There are no words to make things better. I know your love and support and presence will help to get them through each breath and each painful minute. My heartfelt sympathy to you and to them. May we each wake up living fully as many others do not get the gift we often take forgranted.

  3. joannesisco says:

    This is a heart breaking post. I can only imagine how very difficult it is for you as you watch your friends struggle with their grief – not knowing exactly how to help and comfort them. My deepest sympathy to you and your friends as they find their way through this extraordinarily awful time.

    • Lynn says:

      It is heart wrenching Joanne. Losing a child to a tragic accident is one of our worst fears as a parent. It is so difficult to comprehend how you rise above & move forward. I so appreciate your compassion & your words of support.

      • joannesisco says:

        I share your sentiment. I feel physically ill at the thought of anything happening to my children.
        I wish there was some magic formula of words and actions I could offer you in support as your friends struggle with their overwhelming emotions.
        Your kindness and friendship will guide you on what they need over the days, weeks, and months ahead.

  4. So sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to everyone involved.

  5. I am so sorry for everything that you and your friends must be going through. One thing I think is true…as much as those suffering seem to not feel your presence in the midst of their grief, they really do….even if it just helping them to breathe.

    • Lynn says:

      I certainly hope in some small way, the love surrounding this family is somehow helpful in easing their sorrow. Thank you for your extension of friendship & especially for the hugs:)

  6. roseanna vachon says:

    Very nicely and compassionately said My condolences. Hugs

    Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone on the Rogers network.

  7. Paul says:

    The only way through Lynn is to put one foot in front of the other and tyr to keep a poitive attitude.. It is especially hard for someone like yourself who is emotionally attached and yet not family – you have very little you can do except lend a hand when needed and pray. That’s always been the hardest for me – the waiting. I’ve had and beat cancer, had kidney failure and been in a fatal (not me) accident, and it never gets easier. I’ve had friends die violent deaths (I trucked long-haul for years and lost 4 friends), from cancer and I’ve had friends and relatives succumb to illness. That said the vast majority of people that I know who have had tragedy strike, have found their way out and become even stronger for the experience. Here’s praying that is what will happen in your friend’s case. When i was sick the most important thing to me was visits by friend and family (when I was well enough). A personal network gives hope and brings a positive attitude. I pray for the best outcome. Take care of yourself too Lynn for that gives you more energy to contribute

    • Lynn says:

      Thank you for taking the time to write your words of comfort Paul. Although I have lost loved ones in my life, I think losing a child is something beyond my comprehension. I am thankful you have been able to overcome all that you have, what a strong person you are. I so appreciate your insight & your support.

  8. LB says:

    Heartbreaking for the family, heartbreaking for you.
    Your love and support will help. Strong, quiet support.
    Strength to you, the friend and caregiver

  9. Lynn says:

    Thanks LB. Offering love & support seems to be all that one can offer when a loved one is grappling to make sense of such a tragedy. Thankfully this family is overflowing with love.

  10. Sue Slaght says:

    Lynn I just wanted to check in to see how you and your friends are doing. I felt it more appropriate to come to your blog to ask. I have thought of you often and the family. Just heart wrenching. Sending extra hugs today my friend.

  11. I’m so sorry Lynn. There’s nothing harder than losing a child. Sending hugs your way.

  12. Lynn says:

    Thanks Lisa. I can’t fathom how a mother copes with the loss of her child. It is beyond my comprehension as I am certain it is for most mothers. I appreciate you stopping by today & I happily accept your hugs!

  13. pieterk515 says:

    Could not have said it better. the only thing we can do when tragedy strikes is to offer support, a shoulder to cry on and lean against. We need to stay strong. For them. Good luck Lynn.

    • Lynn says:

      So true Pieter. It seems like so little to offer but I am certain hugs, love & support are the only things that offer one the ability to put one foot in front of the other.

      When I asked “mom” how she was doing after the funeral, she told me she felt like she had broken into a million pieces. I just hugged her & said, “then we need to help you pick up one tiny piece at time my friend, until you can feel somewhat whole again”

      Appreciate your kind words:)

  14. restlessjo says:

    Oh, Lynn, I’m so sorry! I just light-heartedly commented on Whistler before coming here. As you say, life can change in an instant. So sorry for them.

    • Lynn says:

      Not to worry Jo. I appreciate your comments, light-hearted or otherwise. Life has a way of reminding us now & again how truly precious it is.

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