I do not profess to be an expert on anything but I do think that as we progress along this road called life, we pick up a few life lessons along the way that are worth sharing.
It is with this sentiment that this post is called Lessons in Life. Hopefully I can share more than one with you!
The past week or so, many of us watched the story of Zach Sobiech, a 17 year old young man diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer called Osteosarcoma. You can see his story here. I couldn’t help but be inspired by this young man & the incredible insight he developed in such a short period of time here on earth.
One could argue that he may not have lived long enough to experience some of the true stressors in life, but what bigger stress could there be than knowing that your time with your loved ones is but a short journey & therefore to learn to embrace each moment as a gift.
His message is not new; it is one that many of us have heard through other people’s journeys when faced with a terminal illness. Yet we continue to move through life, seemingly thinking there is so much time in front of us to change things, to repair broken relationships, to reconnect with lost family or friends. Too often we wait until time is running out before we see that perhaps some of the things we deemed unfixable, were actually fixable all along.
Fix it now! At the risk of sounding flip, don’t wait to be diagnosed with a terminal illness to fix something in your life that needs tending to. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Not so for many. Sometimes we become so entrenched in being right, being angry, or blaming someone for all that is wrong in our life, that it consumes us with a lifetime of missing out on something or more importantly, someone who we love.
I often ask myself the following questions when faced with these dilemmas.
A year from now, will this matter?
Will this, in any way be harmful to me?
If I, or the person I was upset with, were to die tomorrow, would it matter to me that I didn’t make an attempt to fix this?
In most cases, the simple answer to the first two questions is no and the last one, yes.
Trust me when I tell you that I am as stubborn as a mule & have often been described as strong-willed & kind of bossy:) I come from a long line of ancestors that were right! My grandmother kept a diary for most of her life & on more than one occasion was known to go to her diary to settle an argument as to who was right & who was wrong. More often than not, she was right…just sayin’. I have been told that I am a lot like her:0) I have as much difficulty as the next person letting go of what I feel is the right side of things or that my perspective is somehow more correct than the next person.
I am not suggesting for one second that you become someone’s doormat, but I do think we can find a happy medium. I have learned that I don’t have to share someone’s perspective in order to live in harmony with them. I may see things in a totally different light but that doesn’t mean that the other person’s perspective was wrong. It is just how they see it. We can agree to disagree & move on.
Rather than form an enemy camp, find the courage to sit down & have an honest conversation. This is tougher than you think for you need to be able to open your heart to really hear their perspective, understand their side of things & the most difficult part, to let go of the harboured resentment/anger/jealousy/disappointment or all of the above, in order to move forward.
In the wise words of John Lennon, “give peace a chance”.
In most cases, we come out relatively unscathed and a wee bit wiser for having shared our thoughts on whatever the issue is. At the end of the day, most of just want to be heard & perhaps validated in our thoughts & feelings.
Spend your energy finding ways to make peace with the people that matter in your life. Better to at least have made the effort than find yourself at someone’s funeral wishing for one more conversation to make it right. If there is even a ounce of doubt, FIX IT NOW & enjoy the time you have together!